Score: 6

"Eh..."

submission: There She Is!! step4

date: September 5, 2008

You deviated very strongly from the art style AND music everyone loves. The music used here was ridiculously painful to the ears, and you lacked any and all speech-bubble emotions like in the prior ones. You even had people TALKING, which you never did in any of the others (you always used visuals). This was extremely rushed, and needs to be redone. You lost your original style in attempting to convey this catastrophe.

Score: 7

"System requirements"

submission: Waterlollies

date: July 21, 2008

Your "system requirements" is decidedly an outright lie. I viewed this at medium-low quality (doesn't really matter, and high quality is crap anyway) on a 1.3GHZ AMD 256MB RAM computer (even though opera used only 60MB of it THROUGHOUT). Even so, CPU use was only around 50-60% maximum and AVERAGE. Therefore, anyone with an 800MHZ could watch this. Possibly lower.

Score: 0

"Rage."

submission: Bored?

date: July 21, 2008

I was relaxed. Messing with the illusions. The last one? A screamer. Why does that REALLY piss me off? Because it's extremely juvenile, but mainly because YOU OWE ME A NEW SET OF SPEAKERS. Seriously. I should sue you. That sound could have DAMAGED them. The image woud've been fine, a kind of "haha", but adding WHITE NOISE to it only serves to damage the sound equipment someone is using. Points for actually making my heart speed up for a few seconds, though (usually they all fail). Removed for damaging my speakers.

Score: 0

"ungh"

submission: Pandemic II

date: July 21, 2008

What mistakes did you fix? I can't see any you fixed. All I see is the same flawed game as before: completely driven by chance and not driven by strategy AT ALL. How do you win? Picking a strategy and then playing through with it over a hundred times until you're lucky enough to infect the entire world. You have absolutely no choice in the matter. A strategy game is like chess: Everything is available to you, all you have to do is arrange the pieces in a winning fashion. Your game makes the latter ENTIRELY RANDOM. This isn't even a game. It's a graphical random number generator!

I suggest that you actually look at what the word strategy means, then go on to actually PLAY strategy games, before you go off touting this fancy random number generator as a "strategy game".

Score: 0

"Wat."

submission: Escape the Attic

date: June 16, 2008

It took me about ten seconds to win this "Game". It has NO CONTENT, NO challenge, no mysterious plot to uncover, no good music or sounds, no suspense, NOTHING that makes most "escape the room" games good WHATSOEVER! Do a little RESEARCH before you upload to newgrounds, or don't upload at all! It was pretty much a linear straight shot from finding the key, opening the chest, playing the record (after grabbing a hanger in the other side), and escaping. I mean come ON, you think that's a game? Go find and play a REAL escape-the-room, and preferably REMOVE this from newgrounds.

Score: 0

"Um, wow."

submission: Six Flags Dance!

date: June 16, 2008

Dare I say "absolutely shit"? You made a mockery of how awesome the original is. This isn't so much rotoscoping as it is crapping on your keyboard while macromedia is open and hoping it draws the right lines for you. You want to see REAL rotoscoping? Watch "a-ha - take on me", the first music video to use rotoscoping, and then realize just what you did wrong (see: everything).

The music is repetitive and immensely annoying, the clip repeats every four seconds or so (thus annoying), and overall the flash itself (excluding continual repetition) has about four seconds of content that can send you into epileptic seizures. No stars for you!

Score: 5

"WHY!"

submission: Zombie Tower Defense 3

date: June 16, 2008

I like your spartan graphics. You're one of the few people that gets the fact Flash is NOT a medium for high-end graphics. Either that or you're just so bad at drawing this is the best you can do. Either way, I LIKE it and for very good reasons.

What I don't like is the lack of a grid and pauses inbetween waves. Grids make placements easy and efficient, and restrict your placement. Placement is restricted ANYWAY because you have a square area around the towers, so why not go the whole nine yards? You don't have a countdown timer (I can only assume the wait time between waves is five seconds), and you don't let people pause to upgrade and/or place towers. I'm not sure if you thought that added to the difficulty or not, but what it adds to is annoyance and needless frustration.

You also failed a BASIC that so many flashmakers nowdays neglect: MUTE BUTTON. Your music is not always enjoyable! And not everyone like me has FlashMute! Especially your SOUNDS!

And here's a suggestion (though not weighing my rating choice because it's never thought of anyway): In your next installment try to add a "fast forward" feature. Combined with INTERMISSIONS between rounds, it would allow you to just skip the graphics and waiting period and see the end results (if any zombies got through, etc). Essentially crunch all the numbers and go to the next round without showing the graphics. Big time saver. Also helps so you don't have to wait for a goddamn zombie once he gets through.

Towers: You added absolutely no variety whatsoever. You also repeated the same mistakes that make all other TD games extremely annoying.

First mistake: Tower upgrades are useless versus tower number. This might change later in the game (if it does at all, it's usually the last five levels), but it's supposed to be QUALITY over QUANTITY. Upgrades are supposed to MEAN SOMETHING. One upgraded tower is actually outdone by numerous non-upgraded towers (or numerous barely-upgraded) because they get more shots in. This is particularly harmful to the "pistol tower". Upgrades and gameplay should be balanced so you choose between useful upgrades, or less-useful but possibly required towers to make the game easier (like the freeze tower).

Second mistake: Lack of targeting options. What if I want individual towers (lets say weaker ones) to target the WEAKEST enemy, and my stronger ones to target only STRONGEST enemies? Rather than just the first one that comes within their range? This is particularly damaging to the bomb tower because it only targets the LAST enemy, rather than somewhere in the middle. Thus failing to use 1/3rd of its potential damage!

Third mistake: You don't inform people what's going to happen in the next wave. This means people can't make adequate preparations and use strategy to win levels, and instead they have to use their prior gaming experience with your game to win. Thus taking focus away from strategy (which TD games are supposed to be about) and putting it on "prior knowledge".

Fourth mistake: No numbers on an enemies health bar. You can't tell what health an enemy has until you've shot at it, so again you have no idea what to expect. This takes focus away from strategy and places it again on "prior knowledge".

Fifth mistake: Tower range is not true because of your poor aiming scheme. Towers appear to RETARGET to a closer enemy before another one has fully exited their range (even when they can fire), thus letting some weaker enemies escape.

That's about all for now, that and I'm almost out of space. I'll most likely get negative votes for this, but excuse me if I actually use the REVIEW section FOR REVIEWING. Five stars for the spartan graphics.

Score: 2

"Grrrr..."

submission: Sonic quiz (redone)

date: June 16, 2008

I am stick and tired of quizzes taking you back to number one. That is NOT a punishment, all it requires you to do is redo every damn question again (more specifically ones you already got right). That is NOT how you do quizzes. If you wanted to make it a GAME you could add points or something funny, possibly something mildly interactive. THIS is just Nintendo Hard, and therefore annoying beyond all playability. Also, Quizzes belong on myspace bulletins. Quit clogging up my damn tubes with this crap!

Also: No mute button, lack of features (you could just skip some questions and go back later if you're uncertain, hints, etc), music repetitive and boring (see: MUTE BUTTON), and that about sums it up. Two stars simply because I like Sonic.

Score: 0

"*cringe*"

submission: Lawnmower Adventure

date: June 16, 2008

Is this even a game? This is more like a screensaver. You offer no basic options (mute button, pause, etc), your "levels" are so easy a monkey could win by mashing random buttons, and you CAN'T lose the race (I "lost" it and then went right to the boss battle, which in and of itself was stupid). Speaking of the race, there's no timer. It just starts, so you don't have time to prepare. Although, really, the whole game is a joke and there's no challenge or contest.

The only thing I can possibly think of is that it's a parody of somekind. If that is the case, you failed to make it funny enough to be noteworthy anyway. You also failed to elaborate on and offer punchlines for various stupid flashes.

Score: 3

"Failure"

submission: Math Strip 2

date: June 15, 2008

I enjoy the basic challenge, but I do not enjoy your failure to incorporate even a BASIC feature in any game: A pause button. This is especially important because there is NO intermission. None. Whatsoever. So if a person has to, say, answer an IM (typical) or temporarily deflect his or her attention, they can't pause. Obviously the way to implement this WITHOUT cheating is simply to pause inbetween questions, with the spacebar being a "continue" button. Do so and maybe you'll get a five next time. Maybe.